Outdated NBA Thoughts, part 1

Date: 5/19/2010
Watching: Lakers vs. Suns, Game 2, Conference Finals

Kobe Bryant is the only player I've ever both really hated and really feared. I fear Albert Pujols, but I have nothing against the guy. I hate Derek Jeter, but (even if he was in the National League) I wouldn't fear him, I can talk smack about him. But Kobe Bryant, that smug entitled little rapist, that Michael Jordan wannabe that always looks like he's 6 years old and pissed, is fucking. Good. The Lakers had gone up 9, and I thought to myself, "The scary thing is, Kobe hasn't really gotten involved yet," and immediately thereafter, he takes it down the court, pulls off a beautiful behind-the-back dribble that left his defender in the seats, and sinks the easy jumper. Lakers by 11, and Kobe's running down the court making a face like a dog taking a dump. I hate that guy. And I hate Derek Fisher, who just hurled himself into a defender, fell down, and got the foul call, AND was praised for it by the announcers, AND the announcers were right. Fucking Lakers.

I try to be tolerant and understanding, so rather than saying that Lakers fans aren't real fans, I'll say: I don't understand Lakers fans. Why would you be leaving with two minutes left in a playoff game your team is winning? Regular season, sure. Your team's down 20? Sure. And I'm not even saying you SHOULD stay until the end, I'm just saying, how could you not want to? Isn't that what we live for? Isn't that what we suffer through all the losing to get to? And you're there, and you leave? Well, I suppose it's not surprising, I'm sure the Lakers crowd has a lower percentage of locals than any other sports crowd in America. They drive it home by their dutiful shots of the celebrities in the crowd. None of them are from LA (well, except the Kardashians). Why do they get those seats? Spike Lee I have no problem with, he got rich and got to live his dream of sitting courtside at Knicks games. If I got rich, and if it didn't mean I'd have to live in Ohio, I'd have season tickets behind the Reds dugout. No question. (Not the Bengals, football just honestly doesn't work as well in person.) 81 times a year (well, probably around 60, anyway), I'd be sitting there yapping at the team, cheering on future Mike Leake and future Joey Votto, heaping inventive abuse on future Albert Pujols and future Roy Oswalt. It would be fantastic. And I'll tell you what, if the Reds were up 7-0 in the 9th in Game 2 of the NLCS, I damn sure wouldn't leave.