Beer

Date: 5/15/2010
Watching: SportsCenter
See, here's the thing about beer commercials: I get that they're supposed to be jokes, and that I need to "lighten up," or "have a sense of humor," or whatever. But take this Coors Light commercial: the guy walks into his house, there's a trail of rose petals, a sexy note with lipstick on it, candles burning, etc. And he follows the trail, and mistakenly thinks it ends at the refrigerator, where he finds Coors Light, which he finds more fascinating than his smoking-hot, lingerie-clad wife. And the thing is, if he had been more into, say, a bag of Doritos than his smoking-hot, lingerie-clad wife, then fine, ha ha, funny joke, whatever. But there are people out there with real, serious problems with beer that prevent them from functioning normally in society. I mean, what's the point in them putting "Drink Responsibly" in fine print at the end of their ads if the entire message of the ad is: Drink Irresponsibly. It's funny. You can still be super happy and rich and have a smoking hot wife, and it will just be this hilarious thing about you that you're a RAGING ALCOHOLIC. So, point is: beer commercials really are uniquely evil, even by male-targeted commercial standards.